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Saturday, 21 March 2020

Story time...

The year is 2050. Helên is 81 and Owen is 78. In the absence of grandchildren they have adopted a sentient Feline Cyborg as all the earth cats have been recalled to their true home, a far off planet where the ancient Egyptians built their first spaceship.

Feline Cyborg: Tell me about the olden days Nana.

Helên: Well, 2020 was a wild ride. After a seven year musical lull, we released a new tune, 'Gwyneth Paltrow's Cunt' about an all encompassing smelly candle, then two months later, the world was gripped by a lethal global pandemic the like of which hadn't been seen for a century and everything went to shit.


Feline Cyborg: Tell me more about the song! Will you sing it Nana?


Helên: Maybe another time sweetheart, I'm a bit tired just now. 


Feline Cyborg: Pappy, will you sing it for me, please Pappy, please!


Owen: Fuck off you little cunt, you're not even a real cat.


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